Would you consider this rude behavior?

I think the best thing to do is always put yourself in the other person's shoes, forgetting your own opinions for a minute, and try to see why they feel the way they do. I believe parents, and all elders, deserve respect, but it honestly sounds like you feel overly entitled and rather controlling. A marriage is a blend of families, personalities, and traditions. It seems you feel your daughter-in-law should completely change to be like you and your family in both your home and her own. Lighten up a bit on your tradition of card-playing and try to adopt a new family tradition that incorporates your daughter-in-law. If you hold unrealistic expectations of her adapting to your every whim, you are going to forever have a resentful daughter-in-law.